Gilroy Garlic Festival Gunman Shot

Gilroy Garlic Festival gunman was shot less than a minute after shooting began

GILROY, Calif.-When the shooting started Sunday at the garlic festival, Gilroy police officers were patrolling the event.

Three officers began shooting at the gunman in less than a minute, Gilroy Police Chief Scot Smithee said Monday at a news conference, “despite the fact that they were outgunned, with their handguns, against a rifle.”

“We had thousands of people there in a very small area,” Smithee said, his ears tearing up a little. “It could have gotten so much worse, so fast. I’m really proud that they got there as quickly as they did.  There absolutely would have been more bloodshed. With the number of people in the small area they were in, I think it’s very, very fortunate that they were able to engage him as quickly as they did,” he added.
Gilroy Mayor Roland Velasco said it “takes remarkable bravery to run to a shooting when the natural reaction for all of us is to run away.”

The famed festival was winding down when the gunfire broke out at 5:30 p.m. Authorities have said 19-year-old Santino William Legan cut through a fence at the back of the park where the festival took place to avoid the security and metal detectors. 

The shooting killed a 6-year-old boy, a 13-year-old girl and a man in his 20s, Smithee said.

A number of roads remained closed Monday in Gilroy as 30 law enforcement officials worked to gather evidence across a crime scene that spans “many, many acres,” said Craig Fair, deputy special agent in charge at the FBI.

“It’s done very slowly, it’s done very methodically,” Fair said. “It’s done for a reason, should we have to use that evidence for prosecution later on.”

Why I'm Complicated

Oh goodie. I'm "complicated". I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's one of the best compliments I've ever received. Sure.  I'm both completely and totally secure, and at the same time (under the layer of pride), I can be insecure sometimes. I know we all have that, but everyone is different. The man didn't mean that women were hard to understand. He meant me; specifically. Hahaha! While I'd like to think that I'm easy to please. (Inside I just feel this base persona of Amy as, "if you love me, I'll love you back. I take care of everyone. Everyone is happy. I fall madly in love. Happiness and passion follow, etc . . ") However, life is not simple, and I sure as heck am not at all simple. I'm not sure I'd ever want to be.  I try to keep myself deep, but realistic.

I am conservative, but I can be liberal. I never, think in black and white. It's not just that I have a lot of thoughts, goals, passions and things to do, but I'm also hard to predict at times. If you love steak, but hate to hurt animals, then you understand the kind of dichotomy I'm talking about. That's me.

As far as personality goes, I have always been a little complicated. I'm extremely passionate, but I can get over lost relationships quickly. I think it's because I feel the pain all at once, and then I move on. I don't have time to dwell on how people made me feel, and I don't think I want to give someone else the power to make me feel bad. I mean, I decide how I feel.  I'm not dependant on any person other than myself, and I refuse to be. It's entirely possible that I'm afraid to be so. I want that independence for my kids too. I think in a lot of ways I want all humans to be more confident, and independent. It's been my goal in life to keep my kids from ever being abused like I was. Ever. I don't ever want them to have to deal with the depths of low self esteem that I suffered.

I still sometimes don't take criticism well, but I try very hard to get ernest input from people to specify things, because I don't want myself overreacting. Frankly, I don't react until I'm 100% sure what I'm going to be reacting to. Dang. I am going to apologize in advance for the novel that is now this blog. I'm sure it's going to get long here, but please stay with me. Maybe I could teach you something?

Currently, writing is my life and my core profession, but I don't write professionally. Sometimes I ask myself, why can't you just pick a profession?!  Ok. It might be my mom asking that, but it is a fair question. Right now, I'm applying to law schools.  This completely and totally contradicts my hard work to get a Bachelor of Science in Applied Social Psychology from Cal Poly. I'm not all that interested in Liberal Arts jobs. I have taken and passed: the Real Estate exam, the Series 5, Series 51 Securities Exams, Notary, Class B Commercial license, the Life Insurance Exam, and of course don't forget the CBEST. Confused yet?

As far as my major, I think I struck out to help people, and then I just really, really wanted to learn about psychology, and sociology. Maybe I just wanted to understand people, and why they hurt each other. I wanted to protect kids. I mean, I still do that. I was a Resident Advisor in the dorms, and here in life I am, of course, the Apt Complex Mom. Sometimes I cure a tooth problem at 2 am. I mean, it has to be done. So, in hindsight, I should have gone back to school, and gotten more degrees. I know people with multiple degrees, and despite their debt, they're really, really happy. So, I am constantly learning about things, and I can't stop. It's just that my classroom is usually the world around me.

Perhaps most people with higher intellects are collectors of ideas, knowledge, experience and education. Perhaps people that have near-death experiences are more "thirsty" for knowledge too? They long for fun and experience, like I do. I mean, I worked at a major wine producing company last fall just to learn more about making wine. They didn't pay me much, and my hours were pretty unpredictable. I didn't do it for money. I was just thirsty for the knowledge and the experience. I made wine!!

I have learned in my past 40 years that there is no point in living, if you're not loving it. There's no point in keeping yourself on the planet if you're not having adventures or taking risks very often. You have to be  willing to pick up everything one day when an opportunity presents itself. And more people should think that way. Too many hear opportunity knock and don't answer.  I have always regretted not grabbing opportunities. I don't ever want to think "what-if" again. So, I try to live my life in a way that is respectful to myself, but that also doesn't restricted me too much. I drink wine, but never in excess. I love KFC, but I don't need a bucket of chicken. If you live well, you don't have to regret things. I mean I was married for over 15 years, and in hindsight I should have probably taken that job at the FBI instead. Hahaha.

So, if I had been honest with myself about my goals, dreams and desires when I was younger, my life would be different. Sure. There's a chance that I'd be dead by now if I'd done it, but there's a chance that I'd be happier. I could also be in a wheelchair, a burden on my family. Who knows?  I do know that I wouldn't have my kids. (So, honestly in hindsight, I'm glad that it went the way it did. I'm just not sure I would lead my kids in the same direction I went. ) However . . . .  life is crazy, and completely unpredictable. Some cops go their whole careers without having any serious threats on their lives, and some school teachers are gunned down in their kindergarten classroom. I mean, you don't really know for sure that you can plan anything right.

I think a chunk of my spread interests stems from my abuse.  At 6 years old, I wasn't sure I was human, or that life was real. Sometimes it felt like a dream. When you're severely abused you don't have a good sense of self, and if you have one, it's pushed down very deep inside you. (Read that story here.)

Let's call that Amy 2 point O.  I was a happy baby, so that was Amy 1.0.  Sadly, I don't have memories of Amy 1.0 because the abuse from Amy 2.0 blocks my memories from before 7 years old. Amy 2.0 only probably remembers about 3 minutes of real time. The memories are chopped up into mini-memories, and the rest has been mentally archived. I don't have to feel any emotions about the memories that I have, if I don't dwell on them or chose to explore them. This emotional numbness is now known as a symptoms of PTSD, but in real life it serves abused people every day. Interesting that war is what brought it to the forefront.  If it works right, selective memory, and memory numbness serve very good purposes to protect you. People can (after time), move on from stressful events that weren't too prolonged.

After the abuse, I did begin to grow a personality. In third grade I was a great reader. I could literally read anything in any book, and understand and keep up with most of it. My best grade though was fourth. I had a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Severans. She took an interest in me. In hindsight, she probably inspired all the children. She was beautiful, confident and classy. She had beautiful long hair and barely wore any makeup. She had a keen intellect, and encouraged us to read much more than the requirements. She was my first real role model. Amy 3.0 was really happy.

Fifth grade did not start well. I had a teacher who did not care, and I switched schools because I thought I would be happier away from some of the aggressive kids in my grade. Poor choice. I was bullied in the new school too. It wasn't horrible. I had one friend: Emily. Anyway, in 6th grade, I was pushed down deep inside my own head again. Amy 3.0 became Amy 4.0. Amy 4.0 referred to Amy 2.0 and 3.0 for advice on abuse (which was worthless).  Amy 2.0 was just 6 years old and Amy 3.0 hadn't built any life skills, assertiveness or butt kissing skills. So, I was bullied really badly. I was harassed, constantly insulted and even stalked when I walked home. Amy had to change again, but this time I tried very hard to give myself a footing. I never fought back, but instead I excelled in the classroom. I won awards and was the first kid in my class to memorize all the times tables. I remember traveling to compete in things. Mr. Gonzales was wonderful.

It's kind of hard to explain to someone who hasn't been the constant target of a bully, but I'll try. Day after day, you lose more and more of yourself. I understand why online bullying is causing so many kids to act out and commit suicide. I mean every day you think to yourself, "Tomorrow is going to be so much worse" . . and then it is! And there's no way for you to have a positive outlook on your life, because you're right. It does get worse. Every day is worse than the last. It doesn't end until the school year is over.

In hindsight, the school should have done more for me at that age. I was quite obviously a very humble, quiet kid. I was even targeted by more than one bully group! They disciplined no one. I was even in a fight with a really, really large older girl who wanted to pummel me. (When I asked why, she said that she "felt like it".)

Anyway, I had no bullies in junior high, and finally in 7th grade I felt like I was noticed when I had my first boyfriend, Mike Osburn. He was cute, but we only dated me for like 3 days. It didn't matter. He was cute, and he had liked me. I took comfort in that. I didn't even wear makeup, so I must have been cute without it (I thought). I never expected a boy to care about me, or see me, but he did. My self confidence got a boost. Amy 7.0 was happy, and began to make friends (sparingly) and be a child.

In 8th grade I was chosen for the cheerleading squad. Amy 8.0 was different than Amy 7.0, because I began to work the school's opinion of me into my persona. If anything, it gave me a solid foundation and good examples of what I should be at 14 years old. Leah was the team captain, and she was a good example. I was so awed by her confidence, ability to speak. The girl was so mature for her age, and she didn't have to command respect. It was given to her freely. I wanted to be like that. I still did not get people. I had trouble communicating, but I finally had friends! Demetria was my best friend and we were together all the time. She was also a cheerleader.  So, ya, I'm going to call that success.

In ninth grade, I was no one. I was content, but I lost all the importance of Amy 8.0. No one knew who I was at the high school, and I had very few social skills to use to gain friends. A cute senior did ask me out though, and I thought that was cool. I had one friend that went to Cajon: Deanna Rosier. I don't know why, but she saw potential in me, and we kept in touch after her sleep over. Amy 9.0 was a pretty unnoteworthy person.

In 10th grade I tried out, and finally became and cheerleader again, but not just that . . I was made captain because I had the highest score in try outs. I was shocked, but excited. In all my life, I think this was the main thing that lit a fire under my ass. It gave me the first real positive accomplishment in my life. I worked very, very hard. I did it myself, and it was not handed to me. I counted as a person, and I did something for myself! I'm not entirely sure if I ever was a human person before Amy 10.0. I lived in a mire of emotional muck and horrible memories before that. I was constantly trying to escape, and reform myself, but this finally did something for me. It didn't just cover up the darkness for a moment, it pushed away some of the dark cloud that hung over me. I felt like a real person!

That does not mean that I had ANY social skills or ability to work with my cheer team!! Hahaha!! It was confusing to them, I'm sure! I was sometimes harsh, sometimes extremely insecure, and then sometimes oddly  conceited. I was a wreck, because I was trying to act normal, but I didn't know how. . . My best friend was the only girl who could put up with me: Shelly Scott. My other friends were Jolene Depree, Melinda Vallejo and Joel Ortiz. Those were my only core friends, no matter which lunch I had. The boys were horrible to me, and often ran around the school saying I'd messed around with them. For the entire time I was at pacific though, I never messed around with anyone that went to my own school. I was actually pretty innocent. When I did date, I mostly dated guys from other schools. That way they couldn't talk about me with my classmates.

For about 5 minutes I went to Morongo Valley and Apple Valley High School. Then my mom moved me to a private school. I graduated and went to college, where I honestly grew up a lot more. I was successful there. I liked it. I finally had no reputation, and I finally had SOME social skills. So, I built myself into the image of the person that I wanted to be, and I did a decent job. As my confidence grew and I became an RA, I learned how to take care of others a lot better.

Through everything after that I was still Amy 10.0, and I've only grown based on that persona. So, in my head, I've lived several lives, but pushing oneself over the abyss is really difficult. Life is especially hard for kids. It's difficult to explain to anyone who hasn't experienced serious physical abuse, but I don't think the beatings are the worst part of abuse. It is the fact that you are so helpless, and that there is no pity. When you're crying and expecting the person to stop, and care, and they don't. Maybe they can't. You have surrendered completely, even emotionally  . . and it's still not enough for them. They have to make you suffer more.

That is the one thing that I will never understand about people who were abused, and then grow up to abuse. Do they not remember looking up at their abuser and asking their abuser to stop, with those big doe eyes? Do they not remember praying when they hear someone coming from the other room? If you have experienced that, how could you ever inflict it on someone else? I just don't get that. I suppose that's why so many people who were abused as children grow up to drink and use drugs. They don't get out from under that dark cloud. They never grow into a human. Even if you're 10 humans, it's the best case scenario.

Pinterest as an Outfit Tool

Finally a good use for Pinterest! I mean, we all know it's full of wedding pins, and people decorating imaginary lofts and country houses, but this idea is a really cool one. Curious what works with your cardigan?

Just type into Pinterest.com: cardigan outfit . . and then scroll, scroll, scroll.

And now you can find the cutest outfit for your new tank top. Just type in tank, outfit. Pinterest isn't really a social network, but finally it can be useful for something that you need. :D

Here are some cool outfits that I found. I also made a nice board based on outfits that I like.

https://www.pinterest.com/amelia2318/cool-outfits

Ame's Rules - Inspired by Jethro Leroy Gibbs

Rule #1: Never screw over your partner.

Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene, or when handling guns.

Rule #3: Don't always believe what you're told. Double check.

Rule #3: Never be unreachable. If someone else is, take notice.

Rule #4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best.
Rule #5: You don't waste good anything.

Rule #6: Don't apologize. Its a sign of weakness. (If you have to do so, make sure it counts.)

Rule #7: Don't lie. If you have to lie, be specific, and don't forget what you said.

Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.

Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife.

Rule #10: Never get personally involved on a work case.

Rule #11: When the job is done, walk away.

Rule #12: Never date a coworker.

Rule #13: Never involve lawyers.
Rule #14: If you must involve lawyers, make sure yours is the smarter and more experienced of the two.

Rule #15: Always work as a team.

Rule #16: Always, always safeguard evidence (especially if someone could lie about it later)!
Rule #17: If you must accuse someone, or defend yourself, have the proof (from #16).
Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.

Rule #19: Never, ever cuss on Ame's Facebook page.
Rule #20: Never ask someone else to do what you can easily do yourself.
Rule #21: Never wake Ame up unnecessarily.
Rule #22: Never bother Ame when she's heavily into something.
Rule #23: Never mess with Ame's coffee if you want to live.
Rule #24: Delegate.
Rule #25: Keep friends. Always be the last one who replied.
Rule #26: Always reply to your mother in a timely fashion.

Rule #27: There are two ways to follow people. The first way is "they never notice you." The second way is "they only notice you."
Rule #28: Always lock your doors.
Rule #29: Never date a man that doesn't eat more than you do.
Rule #30: Don't work the system when you can work the people.
Rule #31: Don't stop checking and rechecking a report until you're satisfied.
Rule #32: If you want to know something, go find it.
Rule #33: Never second guess yourself in your relationship or your life. If you're not satisfied, then you shouldn't be.
Rule #34: If you feel like someone is watching you, then they are.

Rule #35: Always watch the watchers. Carefully.
Rule #36: Always check behind you before walking into parking lots.
Rule #37: Always carry a weapon that's easily accessible, or in your hand.
Rule #38: Your case; your lead.

Rule #39: There is no such thing as a coincidence.

Rule #40: If it seems like someone's out to get you, they are.

Rule #41: Never underestimate a friend's ability to stab you in the back.
Rule #42: Never accept an apology from someone who just sucker punched you.

Rule #43: Never owe debts that you don't want to have to pay back.
Rule #44: First things first, hide the women and the children.

Rule #45: Clean up your messes. You've made your bed.
Rule $46: Never blame. Blame doesn't solve problems.

-

Rule #51: Sometimes, you're wrong.

-

Rule #69: Never trust a man who didn't trust his woman, and vice versa.

Unspoken Rule: You do what you have to for family.

14 Things You May Not Miss About Your Extra-Friendly Ghetto Apt

1. People saying how f/phat your butt is. Compliment or back-handed compliment? You decide.

2. Smelling the most amazing fried chicken, or sometimes barbeque, and having no idea where it's coming from! "Dang it. I don't really know number 5. Now I have to go pick up some KFC. Dang you, fried chicken! Dang you number 5. Why do you have to cook with such skills?"

3. People coming to your door with tamales.You keep a stash of cash for such emergencies.

4.  People just walking into your apartment like you're in a dorm room. You could be naked. You could be doing private things. You could be in the shower. It doesn't matter because someone's adorable child needs to borrow some milk. You say yes to the puppy dog eyes.

5. You not having enough milk . . Could you ever have enough milk?

6. Hearing cat fights outside. None of these cats belong to you. This makes you secretly happy,

7. Smelling smoke in your place and then realizing that a guest of your neighbor just started smoking. You make a mental note of which apartment they came from.

8. When you are out at night and you hear a loud "bang" sound from block away. You pray that it was a car that was backfiring  . . . three times. (You check the news. No one in your town has been murdered lately.)

9. One day while you're watching TV, you hear a very small voiced toddler walk past your windows, saying "Hey! Órale." to everyone he sees on the sidewalk. You wonder if he has sunglasses on as he's doing this.

10. Neighborhood children's loud yells and giggles waking you up on holidays. You'd better have some ear plugs or a good hang over cure.

11. Children wrestling in the middle of the street. "You could get run over. Why would you do that? Are you trying to kill yourself? Where do you live?"

12. Realizing that it isn't tobacco the guy on the stairs is smoking.

13. A car beeping at 5:30 am to pick up your neighbor who probably works in construction. "Oh my gosh!! Can't you just text him? I will buy you a phone. . . and pay for the payments . . . "

14. Leaf blowers being leaf blowers . . . .  You fantasize sleepily about different ways that you would like to murder this man, and his unholy machine.

Internal Dialogue - Why Christian Women Can't Find a Man (Oh really?!)

No. I am not impressed.

Oohhh, goodness. Have you ever had an internal dialogue while reading an article? Did your dialogue get heated . . with yourself? Hahaha!! The funniest part is that dozens of people have commented on this article, and how great it is. It was just so painful to me.

 My internal dialogue is all in purple. Enjoy!

* Please note that I am not: a vapid, self-serving, sloth-like, soul-sucking, succubus who wants everything from a man for nothing. (This guy thinks I am, so FYI. Just want to make sure!) 

9 Reasons You May Not Know Why Christian Singles Ladies Cant Find Their Boaz, David or Joseph
http://ijustmetme.com/2014/07/9-reasons-you-may-not-know-why-christian-singles-ladies-cant-find-their-boaz-david-or-joseph/

posted on Jul 2, 2014 in Relationships by ijustmetme

117 Comments

A. This article is mainly for mature Christian single women. Mature. Christian. Women. Why? Because Girls might get offended or not understand but a mature Christian woman will probably get it and take the knowledge.  Right from the beginning the author attempts to control us. He makes sweeping generalizations about his audience and pigeonholes the women that might read it. Wouldn't we take what we need from the article, with our own minds? That's not ok?  So what is a ‘girl’ and what is a ‘woman’, and why on earth would he add the caveat that the article isn't for girls?  The youth don't need his 'wisdom and experience'?  If I'm offended by anything here, then I'm a sad little girl? Maybe I AM a sad little girl. Who knows, eh? OOook then. Let's take a look-see.

B. A woman’s relationship status does not define her, so being single is not a disease or an indication of something “wrong” with her. So this article is not to list a bunch of reasons why you are at fault for not being married …as if marriage was something you just bought at the store. I wouldn’t do that. I respect and care about women’s issues more than there is space to write about here. As a daughter of God, he is working out your story beautifully, so bask in that. This is however, for Christian ladies who are ready for marriage but frustrated that they can’t find the right guy even though there seems to be options.  Oh my goodness. He's not listing a bunch of reasons why I'm at fault for being single,  but hey . . He's going to give me 9 reasons why I'm probably at fault for being single. Wait. What?

So, from what authority does the author derive his right to judge who is a ‘woman’ and who is a ‘girl’?  Perhaps these tips won't be helpful to me? After all, I am a woman, but I might possibly be insulted. Scary! Why feel compelled to make this spurious distinction, yet again?

C. I write this respectfully but I will write it as honestly as possible as a man and as someone who knows a thing or two about relationships. I’ll tell you probably like no one has told you before. So the tone may be a bit direct not because I am brash but because I am writing to Women not girls and one thing I know about women is that contrary to the opinion that they want you to beat around the bush, when it comes to things that are really important, they want you to tell them like it is. They would rather know now, shed a tear or two and start working ASAP to move out, move up, move on or move forward so they don’t waste more time doing the same thing and not getting the outcomes they want. Well, I don't like to waste time. Let's listen to his respectful, and "experienced" advice.

D. All your single girlfriends AND male friends should read this. That's a pretty bold statement there. Not that he is proud. (Pride is a sin, by the way.)

Don't look for men who "have it all
 figured out". This guy is a winner.

1. Many Christian ladies want a man that “knows where he is going”… but God’s men usually don’t have a clue:  Think about that for a moment. Think through the Bible…all the great men that had relationships with God and who he used and blessed….they usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and (here is the even crazier part) even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said he was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham …going to a land he did not know; Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish. 
David too. “Look baby…I really care about you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you… In fact, I’ve just been anointed King…buuutttt I’m kinda living in the bushes right now and on the run from the King I’m supposed to replace.”

God’s men don’t “always” have a direction or know the details. So stop looking for men who have it all figured out!  I completely disagree. First of all, men are the ones who have this idea that they have to have a goal and a purpose. Women don't require that, but we do have some standards. Women want someone who is honest, works hard and treats people well.

Yes. He should take care of himself better than a toddler. That's pretty much it! I personally have very few requirements. Well, no smoking or drugs, but I should not even have to qualify that. Regarding standards, is said man taking care of himself better than a toddler would? Uh. Well, if he's living in the bushes, I'm not entirely convinced of that. How can a man take care of a wife, and a family, if he can't even take care of himself? I love the Lord, but I don't want my babies to freeze to death, because I married some guy who wants to live in the bushes. Not all women even expect men to take care of themselves better than a toddler would, but I do.

2. Many ladies approach relationships from the perspective of “Low Risk, High Reward”: Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here.) They don’t want to put themselves out there at all. Hold on. Ok. Where is he getting this? I missed a memo, or something.

They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. Nope. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. Uh, nnooo.  He doesn’t know anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. What? Where the heck did you get that? This is the weirdest stuff I've ever read. I feel like I'm watching a dramatic tv show. Oh my gosh, is this a Twilight blog? 

You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. Hahaha!! WHAT?! Wow. Where the heck is he getting this from?  That is really specific jargon, with a ton of assumption and generalization. I've heard jokes about shoes before, but dang! He's not even trying to pull the PC version of anything in this article. Is this support to be relevant to all women? Ok. How the heck are people lining up to LIKE this article in the comments? Oh my gosh. Seriously! I'm actually laughing, and being sad about this at the same time. I am not sure how much I should be insulted here, since I obviously don't have as many shoes as all these other women do. Awwww, now I'm sad. :(

 You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be but you want a demon chasing, tongue speaking, Bible spitting warrior of a husband…because “he is the leader of the home”.  It takes two to tango. Reading more of this article is getting much harder. I'm in it for the long haul though. Let's go for it!

You’ve dated a bunch of losers that didn’t work out but he is no good because he has had several failed relationships too? Hahaha!! Wow. So, if a woman is single, then it's pretty obvious that she's not really found Mr. Perfect. Right? If she had already found someone awesome to spend time with, she wouldn't even be reading this. So, sure. You win. You just told your audience that all the men they dated were worthless though. I'm unsure how that's helpful. FYI.  I have actually dated fairly successful men along with those who were "losers".  I don't discriminate against anyone based on their income level. Sometimes manners come into it, but that's just a personality thing.  Also, I would never look down on, or judge someone else because they "failed". We all fail! What we fail at is just different for different people. I was not in my date's shoes. I did not live their marriage. That's what the date is for. He tells me what happened. Also, why would I judge anyone when I have also failed? 

According to author, I love fakeness!

You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, push up bras, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. Hilarious!! Just funny as heck. I cover myself in fakeness?  Woohoo! Let's put on a fake internet wig!! Hahaha. I went on a date today after taking a shower. I didn't have a speck of make up on. My hair was in a bun, because that's what I do. Yup. Pretty much every day. I don't give any cares! Take that, author man.

 You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. I am!? Well, I take very good care of myself, and my kids. I pick up after myself better than a toddler. I also care for other human beings, and I do a good job of it.  In my experience women try much, much harder. I used to work full-time, and still come home, help the kids with homework, give them a bath, make a full dinner, and then deal with all the cleaning afterward. And I'm lazy?!


I bake things for people that I date. I bring him things. I buy him presents that I think he would like. I can't believe how selfish I am! Ya. Women are not usually the ones not fulfilling expectations in this manner. That's just my opinion as a women though. Remember, I'm not a girl. Uh oh, how do we qualify who are women, and who are girls again? Crap! Now, I'm in trouble.

Nom nom nom. Men do loves presents!

If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut? Well, in my experience, it's not usually me. I assume I'm not allowed to say that here though. 

In essence, many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God's will for their future, but they are lying. They don't.  What? What women? Ok. Sure. No one should ever lie to someone they are dating, but this is so weirdly specific, and generalized. Do you know me? No. I don't lie. Ever. Every lie will be brought to fruition, so what is the point of a lie? You just get found out anyway. Lying is not a smart thing to do. Ever. I have never seen lies pay off. 

They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get.  How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life utterly figured out… Hahahaha! Wow. Ok. I am not a money-grubber. Perhaps he has dated too many of them and now he's so jaded that he doesn't even see other women as human beings, with different personalities.

Nom nom nom.
 (Come on! I had to!)

But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed.  These are weird generalizations, but ok. Ya. Most women don't care about money. No matter how you paint the women you meet, women are very deep creatures. If a man seems Godly, honest and compassionate - we will be interested in what he offers emotionally and spiritually.  We do not look like a dog searching for a bone. We earn our own bones! Again, the author may be jaded based on some personal experiences.

3. Many ladies forget that good Christian men look for women who share similar non-romantic, non-spiritual values: Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm ladies…these Christian brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the OPERATION of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on. I don't follow. You dated lazy women who were all about themselves? How does that represent every woman that exists?

One of the first things we learn about Ruth for example, was her work ethic. ( Ruth chapter 2). She knew how to pull her hair back, forget about her nails, roll up her sleeves and get on the grind. She worked really hard and even when she got the attention of the “well established guy with the sensitive heart” she didn’t stop working. She took the break that he offered her and went back to work. Again, assuming I don't work my bum off. Untrue. Oh, my gosh. Is this thing over yet?!

That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are.  So, you don't want a door mat? Oh my goodness. Make up your mind up already. A minute ago you wanted a woman who worked her ass off, killing herself for you. 

Exhausted from work? Too bad. You
 have to look gorgeous anyway.

Here is the icing on that cake. Just because Ruth could get down and work, didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty and tidy up (Ruth 3:3). Wwwoooowww! Icing on the cake? I'll say!! After all the other insults he's thrown around. Hahaha. Wow. This guy really needs someone to edit his stuff. This is just SO sexist. He can't actually think that this will fly with any kind of self confident woman. I . . . I don't even have a comeback. Women should always look sexy and pretty, even if they worked a 40 hour week and did numerous errands, and probably cleaned the whole dang place. So, I work a full-time job, then come home and then make myself beautiful all over again? Ok. I admit that I wouldn't want to look horrible, but what is the qualifier here?  I should put on makeup and do my nails? This guy . . I thought he just said in # 2 that women shouldn't make themselves up so much. Oh. Contradiction is thy name Mr. Author.

4. Many ladies pre-qualify their leads: This is one of the most CRITICAL reasons. In fact, there is a powerful 2 part series on just that HERE: http://ijustmetme.com/2014/05/dont-pre-qualify-your-lead
Ok then. All women should have STANDARDS.  In fact, we have to have them. We can not raise babies in a dumpster in an alley. Just . . no. If we would do so, we would have our kids taken away. If we live in a car, or can not feed our kids, how are we supposed to feel like a real person? People should work, be mature and responsible. A lot of human beings like to have a car, and a roof over their heads.  Are you saying those qualifications are too hard for the average single man? If so, that's not realistic. I won't date ya!  I'm not sure how many women will bend their qualifications for men that don't work, or care to work.  If you are a lazy man, then I guess . . good luck with that.

5. Good Christian men know their worth too and don’t want to settle either: Yea ladies…men are understanding their worth a bit more too. Christian men are getting more and more comfortable attending relationship seminars and getting information about seeking God’s face for a wife. They are realizing how powerful of an impact a wife has on the outcome of their lives and ministry, and they are spending more time trying to see what is beneath the surface. They know that a woman can make or break everything. ... They are realizing that a wife can make or break a man.

Yes they are praying for a Ruth but they are also praying against Delilah as well.  But you just said that women should settle, and not be so harsh as to have standards. . . Contradiction again. * Sigh *

6. Many Christian ladies have no testimony with men: A few years ago, an older friend (a number of years older than me) came up to me after a church program and asked me about a lady in my church. Who she was and what she was like as a person.

I didn’t stop talking for minutes. They were married about a year later.

Same thing happened to Ruth. (Ruth Chapter 2 from Vs 3) Boaz came back from a trip, saw Ruth and asked his Foreman “Who is that and who does she belong to”, to which the foreman answered and gave a fantastic testimony of her character. (See Boaz’s response in Vs 11)

Here is a secret ladies, you know how you like a guy and try to keep it to yourself until your girlfriends force a confession out of you? We guys don’t do that. The moment we think we are interested in you, we are telling someone and we are asking around about you….and we are asking our MALE friends/mentors. Because we know they will tell us like it is and of course won’t spread it all around church and make things suddenly awkward or cause all the sisters to start giving the dirty eye next Sunday. Bro code.

Teenage chick gets it.

The truth is that even Christian ladies can be toxic sometimes when it comes to how they treat men who they don’t consider a prospect. You forget that when the real prospect comes and is interested in you, he will ask other men… I'm half lost on this story, and it's point. How much does he actually get rejected? Geez. If a woman isn't interested, then she's just not interested. I can't believe he wrote a paragraph on this.

7. Many Christian women want a Proverbs 31 Man: That’s not a typo. Pick up your Bible and read Proverbs 31 again with fresh eyes… from the  perspective of the character of that woman…and you will see that those qualities are the ones that many women are looking for in a man when they should be busy developing those qualities themselves.  This entire article is about his ex and the rejections he's gotten since. Geez man! If you've been rejected, or if people were mean to you, then this article was good for venting, but I don't feel like it helped me in the slightest! My advice would be to rewrite this.  "Good people attract good people", would probably do it though.

8. Many Christian ladies want to be married but they are not truly ready to be led: They want to marry a boyfriend but not a husband. They want only a partner but not a leader. They want an emotional prenup that things will always be 50:50. They say they will concede authority to God himself but in their heart, they are not willing to be led by his representative in the home. Again, I totally disagree. Women put up with a lot. We sacrifice great amounts in relationship. We want men to lead us, but they let us down, and often. A man who lives in the dumpster in an alley is just not going to have the intellect or motivation that I require.

9. Many young married Christian women are painting a fairytale picture of marriage to their single ladies. Nope. We think we're going to suffer and sacrifice, and we usually do . . quite a bit. Usually, it's more than a man can fathom. I'm being honest here, because I am a single mother.  We know that we probably won't get fairytales endings, but we would like to try anyway. We'd like to have something decent. This is a very sweeping generalization of all women, but most of the article is, so  . . I should probably stop expecting otherwise.

Many young married women are doing a major disservice to single women. These young married women create a fairytale picture of weddings and marriage to their single friends. They love being the center of attention and talk up how dreamy it is. Perfect Instagram photos, perfect wedding photos, expensive glamorous weddings, perfect Facebook updates, photos and so on. Is there anything wrong with that? Uh, no. We know what we're getting into. You're calling us all liars now. Gee. Thanks.  Lies by omission are still lies. We are lying to everyone on our Facebook account? Pfftt. I never even had my wedding photos posted on Facebook or Instagram. Whatever.

No. It would just help a lot more when married young women keep it real with their sisters and tell them that the wedding day does not make the marriage. It would help a whole lot more if they sit their single friends down and talk about the importance of a praying wife, a strong wife, a submissive wife (to a Godly man)  and how contrary to popular opinion, the faith of a wife is both a weapon for the family and its defense as well. Instead, they get their single sisters all dreamy eyed and waiting for a perfect story and a perfect man…waiting for KalEl from planet Krypton with the big “S” on his chest and a red cape, when they should look at Clark Kent from Planet earth. I am so, so done with this guy! So done!

Sisters, God has a beautiful story of love written for you. Am I saying settle? No way. Thank the good Lord! I think he's done. Sure. Women should never settle. We need requirements and we need to have standards. You said earlier that we shouldn't bit I'll ignore all the contradiction because I'm so done with this article.  But I am saying look at these men through the eyes of Christ. Get your pride out of the way. Don’t define your marital success by how well your wedding day or “lifestyle” stacks up with other women. Uh, who's he talking to? Anyone know who he's supposed to be talking to?  Most importantly, start seeing yourself as a true (not just perceived) gift from God that can bring God’s favor and blessings into your husband’s life because that’s what you are. So work to BECOME that and I truly, truly wish you a love-filled, Christ centered happy marriage when it does happen. Uh huh. Ok. Amen.

Stay humble, remember to respect others and yourself, and keep realistic expectations - I think.  Sure. * Sigh * Wow. I made it. Thank goodness that's over!

Paramedic Destroys Every Complaint About Fast Food Workers Earning $15

The internet is a mighty tool. Occasionally, you come across a person’s perspective on an issue that is so spot on you just have to share it. A paramedic from New York who earns $15/hr. shared his views on New York’s decision to make the minimum wage for fast food workers $15/hr. and it is most certainly spot on. Originally posted to Facebook, Jens Rushing wrote a response to all of those complaining about the raise that fast food workers will be receiving. The post eventually made its way to Imgur. Here is what Rushing said:

 The next time someone starts complaining about people who work so-called “low skill” jobs demanding a $15/hr wage, show them this. Why would anyone else complain about getting a raise? There are over 15 million people working between $7.25/hr. and 10.88/hr. according to the Brookings Institute. Only around 12 percent of those people are teenagers, despite claims that minimum wage jobs are mostly worked by teenagers. Those people would benefit greatly from a raise in wages. However, so would an additional 20 million workers who make as much as 150 percent of the minimum wage. This is because of the ripple effect that raising the minimum wage has on wages of people who earn 150 percent or less than the minimum wage. 

Therefore, if you are near the minimum wage, chances are you are going to see a raise as more people organize and demand an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work. Of course, the best way a person can guarantee that their wages will go up is if they demand that they do. All over the United States, people are winning the fight to raise wages and receive better benefits. This is the age of income inequality, low wage earners. Stop putting your brothers and sisters down and get organized. 

Featured Image Credit: By Sallicio (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons Help us get the word out!

2015 Favorite Summer Recipes

Recipe 1 - Great Homemade Italian Dressing This is my most recent addiction. An easy dressing mix that you can make and store ahead of time, if you want to. Then you mix the wet ingredients when you want to serve it. I used less salt, but it was pretty good. :)

Recipe 2 - Strawberry Squares You're kidding. This stuff is so good!

Recipe 3 - Easy Fruit Dessert
Yum!

Progesterone, Hormones Follow Up!

This blog post is about hormones!!  That's right. Progesterone, estrogen, cortisol, testosterone, your thyroid, and the entire endocrine system are all linked. This blog is to help everyone. I have a friend who has "hypothyroidism".  That's what the doctor said anyway.  She thought she did not produce enough thyroid hormone. After doing some research, and seeing her symptoms, I believe the diagnoses was incorrect.  Hypothyroidism can not account for all of her symptoms - like dry eye for example . . . I think she has estrogen dominance, like I do.  I went ahead and purchased some progesterone cream from eBay and began to use it. I also gave her some.

Her reaction to the progesterone cream all but proved it. She came to me, "I stopped yelling at my kids." She looked at me, "And I no longer want to yell at them. Now I realize how much I have been yelling. This cream . .  I feel so much calmer."

Hormones all have a direct effect on your system. They are varied and they are all important to note. Here I give you common symptoms, your possible solutions and of course how to test them on yourself. I implore you to google all of these things, especially your symptoms. You know what your symptoms are, and the internet is full of information about it.

Estrogen Dominance causes:
* Insomnia
* Foggy thinking
* Memory loss
* Dry eyes (I even had to get special eye drops!)
* Bloating
* Depression: Anxiety - yelling
* Fatigue - agitation
* Allergies: asthma, hives, rashes, sinus congestion, sinus infections!
* Mood swings
* Cold hands and feet
* Hair Loss
* Headaches
* Hypoglycemia
* Unpredictable menstruation
* Magnesium deficiency
* Irritability - Withdrawl from people because they all irritate you!
* Sluggish metabolism - Sluggishness makes you cranky
* Decreased sex drive
* Zinc deficiency

Hypothyroidism causes similar symptoms, but they aren't the same:
* Fatigue
* Increase sensitivity to cold
* Constipation
* Dry skin
* Unexplaned weight gain
* Puffy face
* Muscle weakness
* Hoarse throat (sore throat)
* Pain, stiffness or swelling of the joints
* Hair loss/thinning hair
* Depression
*Impaired memory

I have found SOME solutions for this. The primary solution for estrogen dominance is of course progesterone. Estrogen and progesterone work in a very close relationship to each other. Estrogen levels should exist slightly above progesterone levels, but if they are too high it causes all kinds of problems. Without the progesterone to help balance it, you'll have issues.

But you need relief now?!
Temporary solutions (ie, Today without a doctor!), for this problem can be:
* No more caffeine - Even only one cup of coffee per day could increase estrogen levels, and more than four cups of coffee raised the level 70 percent higher.
* No more carbs - Studies showed a reduction in estrogen levels of women who gave up  carb/high fat foods.
* No more sugar - Instead of fatty and processed foods, opt  for fresh, whole fruits, vegetables and nuts.
* A vitamin (B-12 improves mood and energy, but too much and you can't sleep.)
* Natural food mood boosters: http://www.rodalenews.com/brain-food
* DHEA (1/4 of a 5 mg pill, taken only twice/week), DHEA will help to fix the foggy brain, irritability, mood and metabolism. However, it can raise testosterone levels. It will not fix dry eyes, headaches, sinuses, and other symptoms.

Your long term solutions:
* Eat to avoid estrogen - http://www.livestrong.com/article/16099-foods-reduce-estrogen-dominance
* Birth control pill (with more progesterone than estrogen)
* DHEA (Better for men. Can raise other hormones, so it may not work for everyone)
* Iron (If you are fatigued, you might be anemic also. Take some iron, but take it with food!)
* Mood Boosters!
* Stop taking in more estrogen - http://www.johnleemd.com/store/estrogen_dom.html

Remember that: Estrogen dominance displays as Hypothyroidism: http://www.webmd.com/women/hypothyroidism-underactive-thyroid-symptoms-causes-treatments

An endocrinologist or holistic doctor can test your hormone levels. 

PLEASE COMMENT WITH YOUR EXPERIENCES TO HELP ME BUILD THIS BLOG!

Love

Everyone is different. Some people share their love with the world very openly. Some love everyone. Some people hide their love away. They lock it up in their hearts, never to see the light of day. For if they let it out they may experience pain and that pain may burn them badly.

The best idea is to share love carefully and use it a a resource. In other words, you can love someone with just a small amount of kindness without letting it overwhelm your life or your heart. For example, you may have a friend who is down on their luck. Instead of taking them in, sheltering them, paying for their food, their phone bill, their medication - you can opt for only paying for their medication. Let someone else pay their bills, someone else take them in. You do not have to do everything, nor should you be expected to. This may be different if we are talking about a family member, but in all cases taking on someone else's responsibilities completely just because you are trying to be a good Christian may end up ruining your day, month or year.

Similarly, start each new relationship with friends or romantic interests with great care and caution. There are heart breakers out there. I say this because usually I am the one breaking hearts. It is not on purpose, but I have in the past rushed into things, only to decide later that it was a bad idea. This blog examines several areas of love.

Expressions of Love

You can actually take this online quiz and learn what your priorities are as far as romantic and friendship love are concerned. This focuses on romantic love, but it is also helpful for understanding friendship love. I highly suggest taking it just to know what your priorities are.

Three Kinds of Love

Adapted from info taken from UBDavid

AGAPE LOVE -   What is agape love? Agape love is that love which gives and sacrifices for the highest good of another person. It is the kind of love that caused Jesus to sacrifice himself completely in order to die for all of our sins. Without it there would be no "sacrifice".
Agape love has two main characteristics: (1) It is completely unselfish— it seeks that which is best for the one it loves, and (2) it is committed love—it keeps on loving regardless of what happens.

Agape love is not just a wonderful feeling; it is definite choice. One of the amazing things about agape love is this: When you choose to love a person unselfishly and act lovingly toward them, in time you will have the feeling of love toward them.
God has given us a wonderful place in which we learn agape love. That place is the home. When you live at home you learn how to act and love unselfishly. Remember, you do not have to wait until you feel love to be loving. You can choose to love them and begin acting unselfishly toward them. This is excellent training for life!
Any person can act lovingly toward someone of the opposite sex. It is in your interest to do so. However, once you are married and the routine of daily living sets in, you'll both see each other's true nature. You can not be selfish and self-centered and be successful. Look at how they treat their family members. Are they unselfish to their family?
One of the biggest mistakes young people make is rushing into marriage. Before considering marriage you need to know that you have agape love for that special person and that he or she has the same kind of love for you.  A happy marriage is not a marriage between two “perfect” people. There is no such thing as perfect people. A happy marriage is a marriage between two imperfect people who love each other with unselfish, committed love. Agape love is not blind—it sees the faults of the other person, but it covers them with love.
When you really love someone, you don’t try to change them. You accept them and love them as they are. Agape love says, “I love you, no matter what happens, and I always will.” You can see why this kind of love is so essential in a happy and successful marriage.
Agape love is not just for marriage. We should develop agape love for all people. Every person is the object of God’s love. Every person is exceedingly precious to God. His love includes all people, and ours should also.
God has given us the perfect example of agape love. He gave His Son to die on the cross for sinful people like you and me. The Bible says,“God shows His [agape] love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

FRIENDSHIP LOVE - This is the warm love and affection we have for good friends—people whom we like and enjoy. We should have such friends both from our own sex and from the opposite sex.  Christians should develop unselfish agape love for all people, but we cannot be close friends with all people. The pyramid illustrates how the objects of our affection begin to narrow when we get to friendship love. It is greater than Sexual Love, but less than Agape Love.
To have a successful marriage, you need friendship love for your mate so that you enjoy being together, talking and sharing things with each other. A marriage without respect and tender affection between husband and wife will be unsatisfactory, even if there is a lot of passion in the bedroom.

SEXUAL  LOVE - This is that special, most intimate kind of love between a husband and wife. We should have sexual love for only one person—the one to whom we are married. The pyramid illustrates how our affections should narrow to one person when it comes to sexual love.
In the beginning God created one man and one woman. They were committed to each other for life. This is God’s design for marriage and sexual love—one man and one woman committed to each other for life.
God gave sex both as a means of producing children and as a source of pleasure. Through sexual intercourse a husband and wife are able to express to the fullest their love for each other. This is one of the great blessings and privileges of marriage.
To protect this blessing of sexual love within marriage, God gave this command—“You shall not commit adultery.”
This command forbids all sexual impurity. Fornication is sexual intercourse between an unmarried man and woman. Adultery is sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her marriage partner. Both fornication and adultery are forbidden by God, along with all other sexual sins.

God is not against sex. He is against the wrong use of sex. After all, sex was God’s idea in the first place. Within marriage, it is one of the most wonderful blessings we can enjoy. That’s what God intended it to be!

As wonderful as sexual love is, it can never be the foundation for a successful marriage. Many couples try to build their marriage on the foundation of physical or sexual love. The marriage may last for a while, but when the storms of life come, their marriage fails. They discover too late that you cannot build a happy and successful marriage with sexual love as the foundation.