Another crazy Ame blog. This one, online dating:
Ok. What is with the stigma of "online dating". Someone actually told me, "So and so met their boyfriend online and he's crazy, so you shouldn't meet people online." Uumm. Ok. Huh? See, the thing with online dating, at least the free sites is that YOU pick the people you date. It's not the website choosing them. They just give you a pool of people to choose from. These people put themselves out there, on the line so that YOU can pick from them, as if you were picking tomatoes in the grocery store. You can choose a big ripe juicy one or one with some scars on it and some "character". You can choose tomatoes that are small or large. It's up to you!! I'm sorry. I just don't see the down side. If you are BAD at choosing tomatoes and you do not filter them well enough and you get a rotten one because you didn't see the obvious fault in it, then I'm sorry, but that's going to happen no matter where you got the tomato. You're just bad at picking tomatoes. It doesn't really matter where you met that tomato. Was it at the Farmer's Market fruit stand or Albertsons? Food4Less? Hahaha! See, it doesn't matter where the tomato came from. You picked it.
So, if you're willing to accept a person for who they are, why does it matter if you met at the grocery store, online or at the office? Truth is you can't date anyone at your office. That's a really bad idea. People still meet at work all the time, but it's because they don't have another avenue to use for dating. So, when did "online dating" become so forbidden and tongue in cheek? Is this what you're afraid of? "Did you hear that John Smith is up on Plenty of Fish?? How pathetic. Hahaha. I can't believe he's up there. That's so desperate." Uh, no. That guy's smart. He's saving time and money by filtering through the traits of the people he dates. He's going to find good looking women that are local and meet his criteria.
Imagine for a moment a gentleman who takes women on dates. Let's say he has a blind date. So, they have dinner and a movie and he finds out all about them. He spends $24 for the movies, right? $40 on dinner if it's a nice dinner. I forgot popcorn. If she's spoiled rotten she wants popcorn, candy, and or hispanic. He wants to date someone who already has children, so that they'll understand his devotion to his children. soda. . .What does he get? He probably gets someone that . . he wouldn't date! He wants someone 30-35, who is white, asian Can you tell at a bar, or grocery store if someone has kids already? Can you tell if they are a Christian, Atheist or Catholic? Wouldn't it be easier if you knew those things already? Wouldn't it be nice to meet this person at a Starbucks first to see if you had chemistry before you decided on a short date or a longer one (where you spend tons of money)? These are all assets of the online dating website. You can meet twice as many people, but each person has been "chosen" by you.
For me the criteria is:
1. They can read and write.
2. They make me laugh (at least once).
3. They are not full of themselves.
4. They are relatively confident.
Ok. What is with the stigma of "online dating". Someone actually told me, "So and so met their boyfriend online and he's crazy, so you shouldn't meet people online." Uumm. Ok. Huh? See, the thing with online dating, at least the free sites is that YOU pick the people you date. It's not the website choosing them. They just give you a pool of people to choose from. These people put themselves out there, on the line so that YOU can pick from them, as if you were picking tomatoes in the grocery store. You can choose a big ripe juicy one or one with some scars on it and some "character". You can choose tomatoes that are small or large. It's up to you!! I'm sorry. I just don't see the down side. If you are BAD at choosing tomatoes and you do not filter them well enough and you get a rotten one because you didn't see the obvious fault in it, then I'm sorry, but that's going to happen no matter where you got the tomato. You're just bad at picking tomatoes. It doesn't really matter where you met that tomato. Was it at the Farmer's Market fruit stand or Albertsons? Food4Less? Hahaha! See, it doesn't matter where the tomato came from. You picked it.
So, if you're willing to accept a person for who they are, why does it matter if you met at the grocery store, online or at the office? Truth is you can't date anyone at your office. That's a really bad idea. People still meet at work all the time, but it's because they don't have another avenue to use for dating. So, when did "online dating" become so forbidden and tongue in cheek? Is this what you're afraid of? "Did you hear that John Smith is up on Plenty of Fish?? How pathetic. Hahaha. I can't believe he's up there. That's so desperate." Uh, no. That guy's smart. He's saving time and money by filtering through the traits of the people he dates. He's going to find good looking women that are local and meet his criteria.
Imagine for a moment a gentleman who takes women on dates. Let's say he has a blind date. So, they have dinner and a movie and he finds out all about them. He spends $24 for the movies, right? $40 on dinner if it's a nice dinner. I forgot popcorn. If she's spoiled rotten she wants popcorn, candy, and or hispanic. He wants to date someone who already has children, so that they'll understand his devotion to his children. soda. . .What does he get? He probably gets someone that . . he wouldn't date! He wants someone 30-35, who is white, asian Can you tell at a bar, or grocery store if someone has kids already? Can you tell if they are a Christian, Atheist or Catholic? Wouldn't it be easier if you knew those things already? Wouldn't it be nice to meet this person at a Starbucks first to see if you had chemistry before you decided on a short date or a longer one (where you spend tons of money)? These are all assets of the online dating website. You can meet twice as many people, but each person has been "chosen" by you.
For me the criteria is:
1. They can read and write.
2. They make me laugh (at least once).
3. They are not full of themselves.
4. They are relatively confident.
Some things you might get:
1. How are you this evening? I like your profile. To the point and I agree with you as it works both ways! :)(This seems like a weird comment, but he programmed me to answer him."Oh. You agree with what?" - I HAD to answer him. Women will always answer these kinds of comments. We are a curious breed. This guy is as good as on a date with me just by having made me "think"!)
2. Your cute and funny, haha! Great job with your profile...
( Positives. He seems fun. He said "haha". Negative: you're is not spelled correctly. Thus I immediately think he's not that educated. Requires more information.)
3. I am funny, I am fit, really, really ridiculously good looking, (Insert "ha ha ha here")..Raider fan,I go to all the games. Just bought a street bike a week ago. Love old cats. (Have one in my garage). Did I mention funny??..
(Very funny and obviously interesting. He is trying. This is a huge PLUS. He's also good looking, so he's got that going for him. If they try in their letter and if they SHOW interest like this you bet they will show you interest once you're dating them. This is all a plus. Always look for someone putting in effort.)
4. Ok. I mailed THIS guy. He said, "Indeed I am a bit young, but it is nice to meet you nonetheless."
(He didn't say I was too old for him. ALWAYS Assume they want a reply. Always assume they want you. Bonus points for a big word. :P)
5. Hi. I'm doing well except for the fact that I'm at work and was woken up for a call. But it's OK because I got to see your cute little message. I'm a fan of brave juice myself, in moderation of course hehe... Is hehe OK? it's a modified version of haha but I think it's more personal than lol :-) I really liked your "about me." Especially how you give instructions on how to date, hilarious. But unlike you, I'm a horrible free writer; trust me, this message is time consuming and calculated ;-) Anyways I wanted to respond, it's not often I get a message from an attractive and intelligent girl. But time for me to get some much needed sleep. Hope to hear from ya again.
(Effort! Big effort and he even points out the fact that he makes an effort. With women we want to make some effort too, but we can't be as obvious about it. We're supposed to act a bit more aloof. We answer the phone at three rings and don't text back until 2 minutes have passed. Women, well . . each have their own rules for these things.)
6. Hey baby.
(If he/she's good looking. we show interest. Often they will write a letter back once they have the green light that they are good looking to you.)
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