14 Things You May Not Miss About Your Extra-Friendly Ghetto Apt

1. People saying how f/phat your butt is. Compliment or back-handed compliment? You decide.

2. Smelling the most amazing fried chicken, or sometimes barbeque, and having no idea where it's coming from! "Dang it. I don't really know number 5. Now I have to go pick up some KFC. Dang you, fried chicken! Dang you number 5. Why do you have to cook with such skills?"

3. People coming to your door with tamales.You keep a stash of cash for such emergencies.

4.  People just walking into your apartment like you're in a dorm room. You could be naked. You could be doing private things. You could be in the shower. It doesn't matter because someone's adorable child needs to borrow some milk. You say yes to the puppy dog eyes.

5. You not having enough milk . . Could you ever have enough milk?

6. Hearing cat fights outside. None of these cats belong to you. This makes you secretly happy,

7. Smelling smoke in your place and then realizing that a guest of your neighbor just started smoking. You make a mental note of which apartment they came from.

8. When you are out at night and you hear a loud "bang" sound from block away. You pray that it was a car that was backfiring  . . . three times. (You check the news. No one in your town has been murdered lately.)

9. One day while you're watching TV, you hear a very small voiced toddler walk past your windows, saying "Hey! Órale." to everyone he sees on the sidewalk. You wonder if he has sunglasses on as he's doing this.

10. Neighborhood children's loud yells and giggles waking you up on holidays. You'd better have some ear plugs or a good hang over cure.

11. Children wrestling in the middle of the street. "You could get run over. Why would you do that? Are you trying to kill yourself? Where do you live?"

12. Realizing that it isn't tobacco the guy on the stairs is smoking.

13. A car beeping at 5:30 am to pick up your neighbor who probably works in construction. "Oh my gosh!! Can't you just text him? I will buy you a phone. . . and pay for the payments . . . "

14. Leaf blowers being leaf blowers . . . .  You fantasize sleepily about different ways that you would like to murder this man, and his unholy machine.

Internal Dialogue - Why Christian Women Can't Find a Man (Oh really?!)

No. I am not impressed.

Oohhh, goodness. Have you ever had an internal dialogue while reading an article? Did your dialogue get heated . . with yourself? Hahaha!! The funniest part is that dozens of people have commented on this article, and how great it is. It was just so painful to me.

 My internal dialogue is all in purple. Enjoy!

* Please note that I am not: a vapid, self-serving, sloth-like, soul-sucking, succubus who wants everything from a man for nothing. (This guy thinks I am, so FYI. Just want to make sure!) 

9 Reasons You May Not Know Why Christian Singles Ladies Cant Find Their Boaz, David or Joseph
http://ijustmetme.com/2014/07/9-reasons-you-may-not-know-why-christian-singles-ladies-cant-find-their-boaz-david-or-joseph/

posted on Jul 2, 2014 in Relationships by ijustmetme

117 Comments

A. This article is mainly for mature Christian single women. Mature. Christian. Women. Why? Because Girls might get offended or not understand but a mature Christian woman will probably get it and take the knowledge.  Right from the beginning the author attempts to control us. He makes sweeping generalizations about his audience and pigeonholes the women that might read it. Wouldn't we take what we need from the article, with our own minds? That's not ok?  So what is a ‘girl’ and what is a ‘woman’, and why on earth would he add the caveat that the article isn't for girls?  The youth don't need his 'wisdom and experience'?  If I'm offended by anything here, then I'm a sad little girl? Maybe I AM a sad little girl. Who knows, eh? OOook then. Let's take a look-see.

B. A woman’s relationship status does not define her, so being single is not a disease or an indication of something “wrong” with her. So this article is not to list a bunch of reasons why you are at fault for not being married …as if marriage was something you just bought at the store. I wouldn’t do that. I respect and care about women’s issues more than there is space to write about here. As a daughter of God, he is working out your story beautifully, so bask in that. This is however, for Christian ladies who are ready for marriage but frustrated that they can’t find the right guy even though there seems to be options.  Oh my goodness. He's not listing a bunch of reasons why I'm at fault for being single,  but hey . . He's going to give me 9 reasons why I'm probably at fault for being single. Wait. What?

So, from what authority does the author derive his right to judge who is a ‘woman’ and who is a ‘girl’?  Perhaps these tips won't be helpful to me? After all, I am a woman, but I might possibly be insulted. Scary! Why feel compelled to make this spurious distinction, yet again?

C. I write this respectfully but I will write it as honestly as possible as a man and as someone who knows a thing or two about relationships. I’ll tell you probably like no one has told you before. So the tone may be a bit direct not because I am brash but because I am writing to Women not girls and one thing I know about women is that contrary to the opinion that they want you to beat around the bush, when it comes to things that are really important, they want you to tell them like it is. They would rather know now, shed a tear or two and start working ASAP to move out, move up, move on or move forward so they don’t waste more time doing the same thing and not getting the outcomes they want. Well, I don't like to waste time. Let's listen to his respectful, and "experienced" advice.

D. All your single girlfriends AND male friends should read this. That's a pretty bold statement there. Not that he is proud. (Pride is a sin, by the way.)

Don't look for men who "have it all
 figured out". This guy is a winner.

1. Many Christian ladies want a man that “knows where he is going”… but God’s men usually don’t have a clue:  Think about that for a moment. Think through the Bible…all the great men that had relationships with God and who he used and blessed….they usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and (here is the even crazier part) even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said he was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham …going to a land he did not know; Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish. 
David too. “Look baby…I really care about you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you… In fact, I’ve just been anointed King…buuutttt I’m kinda living in the bushes right now and on the run from the King I’m supposed to replace.”

God’s men don’t “always” have a direction or know the details. So stop looking for men who have it all figured out!  I completely disagree. First of all, men are the ones who have this idea that they have to have a goal and a purpose. Women don't require that, but we do have some standards. Women want someone who is honest, works hard and treats people well.

Yes. He should take care of himself better than a toddler. That's pretty much it! I personally have very few requirements. Well, no smoking or drugs, but I should not even have to qualify that. Regarding standards, is said man taking care of himself better than a toddler would? Uh. Well, if he's living in the bushes, I'm not entirely convinced of that. How can a man take care of a wife, and a family, if he can't even take care of himself? I love the Lord, but I don't want my babies to freeze to death, because I married some guy who wants to live in the bushes. Not all women even expect men to take care of themselves better than a toddler would, but I do.

2. Many ladies approach relationships from the perspective of “Low Risk, High Reward”: Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here.) They don’t want to put themselves out there at all. Hold on. Ok. Where is he getting this? I missed a memo, or something.

They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. Nope. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. Uh, nnooo.  He doesn’t know anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. What? Where the heck did you get that? This is the weirdest stuff I've ever read. I feel like I'm watching a dramatic tv show. Oh my gosh, is this a Twilight blog? 

You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. Hahaha!! WHAT?! Wow. Where the heck is he getting this from?  That is really specific jargon, with a ton of assumption and generalization. I've heard jokes about shoes before, but dang! He's not even trying to pull the PC version of anything in this article. Is this support to be relevant to all women? Ok. How the heck are people lining up to LIKE this article in the comments? Oh my gosh. Seriously! I'm actually laughing, and being sad about this at the same time. I am not sure how much I should be insulted here, since I obviously don't have as many shoes as all these other women do. Awwww, now I'm sad. :(

 You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be but you want a demon chasing, tongue speaking, Bible spitting warrior of a husband…because “he is the leader of the home”.  It takes two to tango. Reading more of this article is getting much harder. I'm in it for the long haul though. Let's go for it!

You’ve dated a bunch of losers that didn’t work out but he is no good because he has had several failed relationships too? Hahaha!! Wow. So, if a woman is single, then it's pretty obvious that she's not really found Mr. Perfect. Right? If she had already found someone awesome to spend time with, she wouldn't even be reading this. So, sure. You win. You just told your audience that all the men they dated were worthless though. I'm unsure how that's helpful. FYI.  I have actually dated fairly successful men along with those who were "losers".  I don't discriminate against anyone based on their income level. Sometimes manners come into it, but that's just a personality thing.  Also, I would never look down on, or judge someone else because they "failed". We all fail! What we fail at is just different for different people. I was not in my date's shoes. I did not live their marriage. That's what the date is for. He tells me what happened. Also, why would I judge anyone when I have also failed? 

According to author, I love fakeness!

You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, push up bras, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. Hilarious!! Just funny as heck. I cover myself in fakeness?  Woohoo! Let's put on a fake internet wig!! Hahaha. I went on a date today after taking a shower. I didn't have a speck of make up on. My hair was in a bun, because that's what I do. Yup. Pretty much every day. I don't give any cares! Take that, author man.

 You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. I am!? Well, I take very good care of myself, and my kids. I pick up after myself better than a toddler. I also care for other human beings, and I do a good job of it.  In my experience women try much, much harder. I used to work full-time, and still come home, help the kids with homework, give them a bath, make a full dinner, and then deal with all the cleaning afterward. And I'm lazy?!


I bake things for people that I date. I bring him things. I buy him presents that I think he would like. I can't believe how selfish I am! Ya. Women are not usually the ones not fulfilling expectations in this manner. That's just my opinion as a women though. Remember, I'm not a girl. Uh oh, how do we qualify who are women, and who are girls again? Crap! Now, I'm in trouble.

Nom nom nom. Men do loves presents!

If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut? Well, in my experience, it's not usually me. I assume I'm not allowed to say that here though. 

In essence, many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God's will for their future, but they are lying. They don't.  What? What women? Ok. Sure. No one should ever lie to someone they are dating, but this is so weirdly specific, and generalized. Do you know me? No. I don't lie. Ever. Every lie will be brought to fruition, so what is the point of a lie? You just get found out anyway. Lying is not a smart thing to do. Ever. I have never seen lies pay off. 

They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get.  How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life utterly figured out… Hahahaha! Wow. Ok. I am not a money-grubber. Perhaps he has dated too many of them and now he's so jaded that he doesn't even see other women as human beings, with different personalities.

Nom nom nom.
 (Come on! I had to!)

But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed.  These are weird generalizations, but ok. Ya. Most women don't care about money. No matter how you paint the women you meet, women are very deep creatures. If a man seems Godly, honest and compassionate - we will be interested in what he offers emotionally and spiritually.  We do not look like a dog searching for a bone. We earn our own bones! Again, the author may be jaded based on some personal experiences.

3. Many ladies forget that good Christian men look for women who share similar non-romantic, non-spiritual values: Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm ladies…these Christian brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the OPERATION of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on. I don't follow. You dated lazy women who were all about themselves? How does that represent every woman that exists?

One of the first things we learn about Ruth for example, was her work ethic. ( Ruth chapter 2). She knew how to pull her hair back, forget about her nails, roll up her sleeves and get on the grind. She worked really hard and even when she got the attention of the “well established guy with the sensitive heart” she didn’t stop working. She took the break that he offered her and went back to work. Again, assuming I don't work my bum off. Untrue. Oh, my gosh. Is this thing over yet?!

That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are.  So, you don't want a door mat? Oh my goodness. Make up your mind up already. A minute ago you wanted a woman who worked her ass off, killing herself for you. 

Exhausted from work? Too bad. You
 have to look gorgeous anyway.

Here is the icing on that cake. Just because Ruth could get down and work, didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty and tidy up (Ruth 3:3). Wwwoooowww! Icing on the cake? I'll say!! After all the other insults he's thrown around. Hahaha. Wow. This guy really needs someone to edit his stuff. This is just SO sexist. He can't actually think that this will fly with any kind of self confident woman. I . . . I don't even have a comeback. Women should always look sexy and pretty, even if they worked a 40 hour week and did numerous errands, and probably cleaned the whole dang place. So, I work a full-time job, then come home and then make myself beautiful all over again? Ok. I admit that I wouldn't want to look horrible, but what is the qualifier here?  I should put on makeup and do my nails? This guy . . I thought he just said in # 2 that women shouldn't make themselves up so much. Oh. Contradiction is thy name Mr. Author.

4. Many ladies pre-qualify their leads: This is one of the most CRITICAL reasons. In fact, there is a powerful 2 part series on just that HERE: http://ijustmetme.com/2014/05/dont-pre-qualify-your-lead
Ok then. All women should have STANDARDS.  In fact, we have to have them. We can not raise babies in a dumpster in an alley. Just . . no. If we would do so, we would have our kids taken away. If we live in a car, or can not feed our kids, how are we supposed to feel like a real person? People should work, be mature and responsible. A lot of human beings like to have a car, and a roof over their heads.  Are you saying those qualifications are too hard for the average single man? If so, that's not realistic. I won't date ya!  I'm not sure how many women will bend their qualifications for men that don't work, or care to work.  If you are a lazy man, then I guess . . good luck with that.

5. Good Christian men know their worth too and don’t want to settle either: Yea ladies…men are understanding their worth a bit more too. Christian men are getting more and more comfortable attending relationship seminars and getting information about seeking God’s face for a wife. They are realizing how powerful of an impact a wife has on the outcome of their lives and ministry, and they are spending more time trying to see what is beneath the surface. They know that a woman can make or break everything. ... They are realizing that a wife can make or break a man.

Yes they are praying for a Ruth but they are also praying against Delilah as well.  But you just said that women should settle, and not be so harsh as to have standards. . . Contradiction again. * Sigh *

6. Many Christian ladies have no testimony with men: A few years ago, an older friend (a number of years older than me) came up to me after a church program and asked me about a lady in my church. Who she was and what she was like as a person.

I didn’t stop talking for minutes. They were married about a year later.

Same thing happened to Ruth. (Ruth Chapter 2 from Vs 3) Boaz came back from a trip, saw Ruth and asked his Foreman “Who is that and who does she belong to”, to which the foreman answered and gave a fantastic testimony of her character. (See Boaz’s response in Vs 11)

Here is a secret ladies, you know how you like a guy and try to keep it to yourself until your girlfriends force a confession out of you? We guys don’t do that. The moment we think we are interested in you, we are telling someone and we are asking around about you….and we are asking our MALE friends/mentors. Because we know they will tell us like it is and of course won’t spread it all around church and make things suddenly awkward or cause all the sisters to start giving the dirty eye next Sunday. Bro code.

Teenage chick gets it.

The truth is that even Christian ladies can be toxic sometimes when it comes to how they treat men who they don’t consider a prospect. You forget that when the real prospect comes and is interested in you, he will ask other men… I'm half lost on this story, and it's point. How much does he actually get rejected? Geez. If a woman isn't interested, then she's just not interested. I can't believe he wrote a paragraph on this.

7. Many Christian women want a Proverbs 31 Man: That’s not a typo. Pick up your Bible and read Proverbs 31 again with fresh eyes… from the  perspective of the character of that woman…and you will see that those qualities are the ones that many women are looking for in a man when they should be busy developing those qualities themselves.  This entire article is about his ex and the rejections he's gotten since. Geez man! If you've been rejected, or if people were mean to you, then this article was good for venting, but I don't feel like it helped me in the slightest! My advice would be to rewrite this.  "Good people attract good people", would probably do it though.

8. Many Christian ladies want to be married but they are not truly ready to be led: They want to marry a boyfriend but not a husband. They want only a partner but not a leader. They want an emotional prenup that things will always be 50:50. They say they will concede authority to God himself but in their heart, they are not willing to be led by his representative in the home. Again, I totally disagree. Women put up with a lot. We sacrifice great amounts in relationship. We want men to lead us, but they let us down, and often. A man who lives in the dumpster in an alley is just not going to have the intellect or motivation that I require.

9. Many young married Christian women are painting a fairytale picture of marriage to their single ladies. Nope. We think we're going to suffer and sacrifice, and we usually do . . quite a bit. Usually, it's more than a man can fathom. I'm being honest here, because I am a single mother.  We know that we probably won't get fairytales endings, but we would like to try anyway. We'd like to have something decent. This is a very sweeping generalization of all women, but most of the article is, so  . . I should probably stop expecting otherwise.

Many young married women are doing a major disservice to single women. These young married women create a fairytale picture of weddings and marriage to their single friends. They love being the center of attention and talk up how dreamy it is. Perfect Instagram photos, perfect wedding photos, expensive glamorous weddings, perfect Facebook updates, photos and so on. Is there anything wrong with that? Uh, no. We know what we're getting into. You're calling us all liars now. Gee. Thanks.  Lies by omission are still lies. We are lying to everyone on our Facebook account? Pfftt. I never even had my wedding photos posted on Facebook or Instagram. Whatever.

No. It would just help a lot more when married young women keep it real with their sisters and tell them that the wedding day does not make the marriage. It would help a whole lot more if they sit their single friends down and talk about the importance of a praying wife, a strong wife, a submissive wife (to a Godly man)  and how contrary to popular opinion, the faith of a wife is both a weapon for the family and its defense as well. Instead, they get their single sisters all dreamy eyed and waiting for a perfect story and a perfect man…waiting for KalEl from planet Krypton with the big “S” on his chest and a red cape, when they should look at Clark Kent from Planet earth. I am so, so done with this guy! So done!

Sisters, God has a beautiful story of love written for you. Am I saying settle? No way. Thank the good Lord! I think he's done. Sure. Women should never settle. We need requirements and we need to have standards. You said earlier that we shouldn't bit I'll ignore all the contradiction because I'm so done with this article.  But I am saying look at these men through the eyes of Christ. Get your pride out of the way. Don’t define your marital success by how well your wedding day or “lifestyle” stacks up with other women. Uh, who's he talking to? Anyone know who he's supposed to be talking to?  Most importantly, start seeing yourself as a true (not just perceived) gift from God that can bring God’s favor and blessings into your husband’s life because that’s what you are. So work to BECOME that and I truly, truly wish you a love-filled, Christ centered happy marriage when it does happen. Uh huh. Ok. Amen.

Stay humble, remember to respect others and yourself, and keep realistic expectations - I think.  Sure. * Sigh * Wow. I made it. Thank goodness that's over!

Paramedic Destroys Every Complaint About Fast Food Workers Earning $15

The internet is a mighty tool. Occasionally, you come across a person’s perspective on an issue that is so spot on you just have to share it. A paramedic from New York who earns $15/hr. shared his views on New York’s decision to make the minimum wage for fast food workers $15/hr. and it is most certainly spot on. Originally posted to Facebook, Jens Rushing wrote a response to all of those complaining about the raise that fast food workers will be receiving. The post eventually made its way to Imgur. Here is what Rushing said:

 The next time someone starts complaining about people who work so-called “low skill” jobs demanding a $15/hr wage, show them this. Why would anyone else complain about getting a raise? There are over 15 million people working between $7.25/hr. and 10.88/hr. according to the Brookings Institute. Only around 12 percent of those people are teenagers, despite claims that minimum wage jobs are mostly worked by teenagers. Those people would benefit greatly from a raise in wages. However, so would an additional 20 million workers who make as much as 150 percent of the minimum wage. This is because of the ripple effect that raising the minimum wage has on wages of people who earn 150 percent or less than the minimum wage. 

Therefore, if you are near the minimum wage, chances are you are going to see a raise as more people organize and demand an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work. Of course, the best way a person can guarantee that their wages will go up is if they demand that they do. All over the United States, people are winning the fight to raise wages and receive better benefits. This is the age of income inequality, low wage earners. Stop putting your brothers and sisters down and get organized. 

Featured Image Credit: By Sallicio (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons Help us get the word out!

2015 Favorite Summer Recipes

Recipe 1 - Great Homemade Italian Dressing This is my most recent addiction. An easy dressing mix that you can make and store ahead of time, if you want to. Then you mix the wet ingredients when you want to serve it. I used less salt, but it was pretty good. :)

Recipe 2 - Strawberry Squares You're kidding. This stuff is so good!

Recipe 3 - Easy Fruit Dessert
Yum!

Progesterone, Hormones Follow Up!

This blog post is about hormones!!  That's right. Progesterone, estrogen, cortisol, testosterone, your thyroid, and the entire endocrine system are all linked. This blog is to help everyone. I have a friend who has "hypothyroidism".  That's what the doctor said anyway.  She thought she did not produce enough thyroid hormone. After doing some research, and seeing her symptoms, I believe the diagnoses was incorrect.  Hypothyroidism can not account for all of her symptoms - like dry eye for example . . . I think she has estrogen dominance, like I do.  I went ahead and purchased some progesterone cream from eBay and began to use it. I also gave her some.

Her reaction to the progesterone cream all but proved it. She came to me, "I stopped yelling at my kids." She looked at me, "And I no longer want to yell at them. Now I realize how much I have been yelling. This cream . .  I feel so much calmer."

Hormones all have a direct effect on your system. They are varied and they are all important to note. Here I give you common symptoms, your possible solutions and of course how to test them on yourself. I implore you to google all of these things, especially your symptoms. You know what your symptoms are, and the internet is full of information about it.

Estrogen Dominance causes:
* Insomnia
* Foggy thinking
* Memory loss
* Dry eyes (I even had to get special eye drops!)
* Bloating
* Depression: Anxiety - yelling
* Fatigue - agitation
* Allergies: asthma, hives, rashes, sinus congestion, sinus infections!
* Mood swings
* Cold hands and feet
* Hair Loss
* Headaches
* Hypoglycemia
* Unpredictable menstruation
* Magnesium deficiency
* Irritability - Withdrawl from people because they all irritate you!
* Sluggish metabolism - Sluggishness makes you cranky
* Decreased sex drive
* Zinc deficiency

Hypothyroidism causes similar symptoms, but they aren't the same:
* Fatigue
* Increase sensitivity to cold
* Constipation
* Dry skin
* Unexplaned weight gain
* Puffy face
* Muscle weakness
* Hoarse throat (sore throat)
* Pain, stiffness or swelling of the joints
* Hair loss/thinning hair
* Depression
*Impaired memory

I have found SOME solutions for this. The primary solution for estrogen dominance is of course progesterone. Estrogen and progesterone work in a very close relationship to each other. Estrogen levels should exist slightly above progesterone levels, but if they are too high it causes all kinds of problems. Without the progesterone to help balance it, you'll have issues.

But you need relief now?!
Temporary solutions (ie, Today without a doctor!), for this problem can be:
* No more caffeine - Even only one cup of coffee per day could increase estrogen levels, and more than four cups of coffee raised the level 70 percent higher.
* No more carbs - Studies showed a reduction in estrogen levels of women who gave up  carb/high fat foods.
* No more sugar - Instead of fatty and processed foods, opt  for fresh, whole fruits, vegetables and nuts.
* A vitamin (B-12 improves mood and energy, but too much and you can't sleep.)
* Natural food mood boosters: http://www.rodalenews.com/brain-food
* DHEA (1/4 of a 5 mg pill, taken only twice/week), DHEA will help to fix the foggy brain, irritability, mood and metabolism. However, it can raise testosterone levels. It will not fix dry eyes, headaches, sinuses, and other symptoms.

Your long term solutions:
* Eat to avoid estrogen - http://www.livestrong.com/article/16099-foods-reduce-estrogen-dominance
* Birth control pill (with more progesterone than estrogen)
* DHEA (Better for men. Can raise other hormones, so it may not work for everyone)
* Iron (If you are fatigued, you might be anemic also. Take some iron, but take it with food!)
* Mood Boosters!
* Stop taking in more estrogen - http://www.johnleemd.com/store/estrogen_dom.html

Remember that: Estrogen dominance displays as Hypothyroidism: http://www.webmd.com/women/hypothyroidism-underactive-thyroid-symptoms-causes-treatments

An endocrinologist or holistic doctor can test your hormone levels. 

PLEASE COMMENT WITH YOUR EXPERIENCES TO HELP ME BUILD THIS BLOG!

Love

Everyone is different. Some people share their love with the world very openly. Some love everyone. Some people hide their love away. They lock it up in their hearts, never to see the light of day. For if they let it out they may experience pain and that pain may burn them badly.

The best idea is to share love carefully and use it a a resource. In other words, you can love someone with just a small amount of kindness without letting it overwhelm your life or your heart. For example, you may have a friend who is down on their luck. Instead of taking them in, sheltering them, paying for their food, their phone bill, their medication - you can opt for only paying for their medication. Let someone else pay their bills, someone else take them in. You do not have to do everything, nor should you be expected to. This may be different if we are talking about a family member, but in all cases taking on someone else's responsibilities completely just because you are trying to be a good Christian may end up ruining your day, month or year.

Similarly, start each new relationship with friends or romantic interests with great care and caution. There are heart breakers out there. I say this because usually I am the one breaking hearts. It is not on purpose, but I have in the past rushed into things, only to decide later that it was a bad idea. This blog examines several areas of love.

Expressions of Love

You can actually take this online quiz and learn what your priorities are as far as romantic and friendship love are concerned. This focuses on romantic love, but it is also helpful for understanding friendship love. I highly suggest taking it just to know what your priorities are.

Three Kinds of Love

Adapted from info taken from UBDavid

AGAPE LOVE -   What is agape love? Agape love is that love which gives and sacrifices for the highest good of another person. It is the kind of love that caused Jesus to sacrifice himself completely in order to die for all of our sins. Without it there would be no "sacrifice".
Agape love has two main characteristics: (1) It is completely unselfish— it seeks that which is best for the one it loves, and (2) it is committed love—it keeps on loving regardless of what happens.

Agape love is not just a wonderful feeling; it is definite choice. One of the amazing things about agape love is this: When you choose to love a person unselfishly and act lovingly toward them, in time you will have the feeling of love toward them.
God has given us a wonderful place in which we learn agape love. That place is the home. When you live at home you learn how to act and love unselfishly. Remember, you do not have to wait until you feel love to be loving. You can choose to love them and begin acting unselfishly toward them. This is excellent training for life!
Any person can act lovingly toward someone of the opposite sex. It is in your interest to do so. However, once you are married and the routine of daily living sets in, you'll both see each other's true nature. You can not be selfish and self-centered and be successful. Look at how they treat their family members. Are they unselfish to their family?
One of the biggest mistakes young people make is rushing into marriage. Before considering marriage you need to know that you have agape love for that special person and that he or she has the same kind of love for you.  A happy marriage is not a marriage between two “perfect” people. There is no such thing as perfect people. A happy marriage is a marriage between two imperfect people who love each other with unselfish, committed love. Agape love is not blind—it sees the faults of the other person, but it covers them with love.
When you really love someone, you don’t try to change them. You accept them and love them as they are. Agape love says, “I love you, no matter what happens, and I always will.” You can see why this kind of love is so essential in a happy and successful marriage.
Agape love is not just for marriage. We should develop agape love for all people. Every person is the object of God’s love. Every person is exceedingly precious to God. His love includes all people, and ours should also.
God has given us the perfect example of agape love. He gave His Son to die on the cross for sinful people like you and me. The Bible says,“God shows His [agape] love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

FRIENDSHIP LOVE - This is the warm love and affection we have for good friends—people whom we like and enjoy. We should have such friends both from our own sex and from the opposite sex.  Christians should develop unselfish agape love for all people, but we cannot be close friends with all people. The pyramid illustrates how the objects of our affection begin to narrow when we get to friendship love. It is greater than Sexual Love, but less than Agape Love.
To have a successful marriage, you need friendship love for your mate so that you enjoy being together, talking and sharing things with each other. A marriage without respect and tender affection between husband and wife will be unsatisfactory, even if there is a lot of passion in the bedroom.

SEXUAL  LOVE - This is that special, most intimate kind of love between a husband and wife. We should have sexual love for only one person—the one to whom we are married. The pyramid illustrates how our affections should narrow to one person when it comes to sexual love.
In the beginning God created one man and one woman. They were committed to each other for life. This is God’s design for marriage and sexual love—one man and one woman committed to each other for life.
God gave sex both as a means of producing children and as a source of pleasure. Through sexual intercourse a husband and wife are able to express to the fullest their love for each other. This is one of the great blessings and privileges of marriage.
To protect this blessing of sexual love within marriage, God gave this command—“You shall not commit adultery.”
This command forbids all sexual impurity. Fornication is sexual intercourse between an unmarried man and woman. Adultery is sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her marriage partner. Both fornication and adultery are forbidden by God, along with all other sexual sins.

God is not against sex. He is against the wrong use of sex. After all, sex was God’s idea in the first place. Within marriage, it is one of the most wonderful blessings we can enjoy. That’s what God intended it to be!

As wonderful as sexual love is, it can never be the foundation for a successful marriage. Many couples try to build their marriage on the foundation of physical or sexual love. The marriage may last for a while, but when the storms of life come, their marriage fails. They discover too late that you cannot build a happy and successful marriage with sexual love as the foundation.

 

Prov 6:16 ~ Being a Christian

A short opinion based on Prov 6:16: "The Lord detests haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness that pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family."

1. Haughty Eye: A lesson for Americans. Pride Comes Before the Fall. Do not condescend - ever. Have humility in your requests with friends, family, and the public. Never ask others to do those difficult labors that you would not do yourself. Delegation is good, but you should never "use" people for your goals. Do not buy people with compliments, money or treachery. I have seen good Christians use people - sometimes without knowing they were doing it. No matter what your cause or your work is, the result is never worth the means - if your means were not admirable. Your work should be highlighted by true appreciation of your friends, family and supporters. Teach by example and live by example.

Definition of Haughty Eyes:
Having or showing the insulting attitude of people who think that they are better, smarter, or more important than other people.
If you would like to see haughty eyes, look no further than the faces of the men and women protesting the arrival of migrants from Central America.  The woman who screamed, “we don’t want you; nobody wants you!” may have believed she was speaking for the entire nation. She wasn't.

We are no better than the folks who viewed lynchings as celebratory events . . (more here)

2. A Lying Tongue: There is no benefit in a lie. In your life you will pay for each sin and none is so hard to live with than a lie. Even if a person believes your lie, you know what you did or said. It will stay with you forever. It will hurt you more in the long run than if you just told the truth. This kind of mistake tends to come back to bite you in the bum. Lies are easily found out. Small lies are not so small when they end up hurting everyone. It's best to tell the truth and ask forgiveness if you did something wrong or were shortsighted. No one is perfect! It is better to show your humility than to proudly lie about something that is untrue.

Great read on this here: http://yougottaserve.blogspot.com/2010/04/we-are-culture-of-deception.html

3. Hands that kill the innocent: The largest indicator of someone's true spirit and nature is how they treat pets or animals. If you see a child with an animal nurture that impulse to do good - to treat all creatures well. It will help that child throughout their life. There were some boys here in my neighborhood watching a praying mantis. I told them praying mantis are supposed to be good luck and that they should not touch wild creatures or animals because the oils on our hands can hurt them. Last time I saw them they were still pointing at it and staring in wonder. I don't think a child's first impulse is ever violence. They must be taught that.

Facts about animal abuse and domestic violence:

• A child growing up in the U.S. is more likely to have a pet than a live-at-home father. 
• Pets live most frequently in homes with children: 64.1% of homes with children under age 6, and 74.8% of homes with children over age 6, have pets. The woman is the primary caregiver in 72.8% of pet-owning households. 
• Battered women have been known to live in their cars with their pets for as long as four months until an opening was available at a pet-friendly safe house. 

More here: http://www.americanhumane.org/interaction/support-the-bond/fact-sheets/animal-abuse-domestic-violence.html

4. A heart that plots evil: This is not just about you plotting against someone in a wicked way. It may also be that you are just so tied up in yourself and your own goals that you do not see those you hurt along the way. People need encouragement, as you do. Do not push other people out of the way on your own way to wealthy, success and victory. Otherwise your victory will feel empty. There are some people who are driven their entire lives to achieve more .  and more .  and they can never be satisfied. You never will be as long as you are so wrapped up in your own goals that you miss the forest for the trees. Appreciate where you are and what you are doing. Make sure that the people around you are also enjoying their lives and if they are not maybe take some steps to help improve that for them. It is very easy to improve the life of someone else on this planet, even if it's just a simple deed or a kind word.

5. Feet that race to do wrong: This really reminds me of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. To me it is another path that depression can take. These kids are confused, forsaken and may feel misled. I think a lot of young people have this issue, especially in the US. It is an extreme desire to do what you are not supposed to, just to spite people or to get instant rewards. Sometimes it's not something that the person is in control of. Watch this video as an example:

I don't feel like any person who has: cut, done drugs, sold drugs, or committed crimes is beyond help. Most people are not compulsively evil, narcissistic or anti-social. They are just lost. When one's soul is empty, they reach out for something that they know and something that's real. You just want to do something to remember that you're alive. You may want people to notice you or spend time and attention on you and doing bad things is the only way you can get attention. You want to feel something. It is an extreme desire but there is help for those who feel empty. You just need a solid foundation. For most people without the family or friends to rely on, they use God as their foundation. You'll still flounder, but with support life is easier than it used to be. The best thing is to remember that you're not alone.

6. A false witness that pours out lies: A false witness or false prophet is the worst of all. The Lord says that those who teach idolatry and lies will have the worst afterlife of all. I believe this speaks directly to the teachings of our children. The teaching of Evolution as a "fact" and not a "theory" irks me. A "theory" has to be proven and Evolution never was. Quite the opposite. The missing link that science have pointed to as proof of this theory (Lucy) was found to be a hoax. There are several other examples of Evolution hoaxes. I assume they will keep creating lies in order to mislead Christians.

Smithsonian ,We Have A Problem
http://thearrowsoftruth.com/tag/fossilised-human-footprints

The most ironic part of this is that there is ample evidence that humans and dinosaurs co-existed. Click on the link above called "Smithsonian, We Have a Problem" to read about evidence that general science does not want you to know. Many people have hidden this information away on purpose. However, if you look you'll find the scientific evidence scattered throughout the internet, books and scientific university logs. This information has been catalogued by esteemed scientists and researchers. It is just not advertised or allowed to be taught in schools. Why? Why is it so important to Atheists to keep lying to the human race? Personally, I'll never understand it so I just make sure that I teach the children that I know that the truth is up to them.

7. A person who sows discord in a family: I don't believe that this is only a group of related people. I believe this can also refer to those groups of close friends that you grow up with or people that you trust wholeheartedly. To lie and mislead people who truly love you deeply, is just so wrong. There is nothing worse. It is one thing to backstab a person that you barely know, but when you do this to someone who loves you, it destroys many things. People who have been horribly betrayed have a very hard life trying to move on from that kind of pain. Sometimes they never get over it. It can create drama between other people in the group, not just the ones directly affected. It can cause feelings of anguish and the worst thing of all; it can alienate someone who desperately needed the support of your group. It could cause them to head into a spiral of negativity from which they may not recover...

This is not to say that we should enable people. If they have a problem with alcohol, drugs, kleptomania, or abuse and hurt others, you do not have to keep supporting them and their bad habits. They don't have to be a part of your life. You should make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable and you don't support it. Some day they might change, and seek help, but you can't make them change.

We must think about our actions before we make them. Every action and reaction is a choice,but we affect more than just ourselves. Whether or not we have much time to decide we need to make the best choice. If we always choose that side which benefits and helps others, instead of ourselves, that end result will most likely benefit all parties and/or it will be the lesser evil. This is just another opinion based on Christianity, but thanks for reading.

Birth Control, Estrogens and Hormones

Some men do carry the biological burden, but in most cases it's the women that carry it. Since the introduction of the pill in the 60s there are been quite a few variations and changes. This article is about that.

Some of the newest on the market have also proven the most harmful. Take YAZ for instance. It has been proven to cause serious heart and health problems. In the last year the company that produced YAZ has been sued several times. It continues to affect your health long after you've stopped taking it.

It's true that women on the average live longer than men, but I'm not sure if that will continue. I'm also not sure if we have the best quality of life. Most women my age have taken birth control for most of their lives. My mother took them. I took them. My children will take them. But how much SHOULD we take them?

Birth control chemicals present SO many issues. Today I will present just a few concerns. You, my peers have been fooled by this illusion that chemicals are safe for us. At this day and age there are some who have issues with the pills, but for the general public and for our generation it is accepted. When teenage girls begin puberty, they are just put on it. For me, they reduced my cramps, so they were a God send.  They do have benefits, but they also alter our chemistry in more ways than we suspect. I mean in both our body and brain.

Birth control methods can:

Decrease the production of DHEA

Decrease the production of Estrogens

Decrease the production of Melatonin

Decrease the production of Testosterones

Decrease the production of Androgens

http://www.healthywomen.org/condition/androgen

Here is the issue. There is more than one type of estrogen. More than one type of testosterone exists. Of course we also have progesterone. All of these things have to be in balance and each one affects the other. These are all incredibly important.

In rare case, such as mine I underwent IVF. I have had over 22 weeks of intensive estrogen and progesterone treatment during the surrogacy attempts that I did in 2007-2008. This really screwed me over. I now believe the effect was catastrophic to my brain and body. I am left with an underproduction of both progesterone and estrogen. After I had that baby in 4/2008 my brain simply stopped working normally. I had no progesterone and the female brain requires it in order to function. I thought that it would return to normal, but it never did.

I had really horrible depression. I was not functioning mentally. I would lose things constantly. I left the keys in the refrigerator. I don't know how.  I was told my thinking was faulty. I was told I was depressed and crying because I was "over-tired". I contemplated suicide, but I had small children and to me that wasn't an option. I felt very alone. I thought that my unsatisfying relationship, and my stay-at-home life with my kids were to blame. I had never been depressed in my life. Honestly I did not know what to think.  I have now come to the conclusion that:

*  I needed more support than I was getting.

*  I was hormonally depressed and very seriously.   Crying in the shower at 3 am was not normal.

* I needed to have someone take me to a doctor. I was literally unable to help myself. 

No one examined my hormone levels after the surrogacy in 2008. I had a check up at my local OB, not the fertility center, but they should have tested me after pumping my system with hormones.   I was so caught up in the drama of my depression and then a separation, and then custody battles and such . . that I wasn't really thinking about myself, or what might have actually caused the overall problem. I had no idea how serious my memory loss and cognitive functioning had become, because I was the only one suffering it. None of my loved ones noticed and when they did would tell me something like: "You just have selective memory. You choose what you want to remember". To someone who has real memory problems, this was really painful for me. I had no idea how bad my brain had deteriorated. I was also proud, so I kept trying to hide my disability.

I realize now I should have told someone how bad it was. Instead I was trying to eat healthy and kind of avoid the pain of the thought that I had a medical issue. I have never been a person that forgot things before. I had never been uncoordinated before in my entire life. I had never been the person who walks along a hallway and just bumps into the wall. I was dropping things all the time. They call this "butterfingers". I obviously didn't look these things up on the internet because it was new at the time, but I was too busy raising my small toddlers to think about it anyway. My life was consumed with diapers and feedings. My self esteem had taken very big hits from having children and being so far away from the support of my family. I didn't have a lot of friends. I wasn't interacting with anyone on a daily basis. I was completely alienated. I am a giver, so I am not a person who goes to the doctor to complain.

The problem was major and it should have been addressed. I would like all of you to remember this. Share it with people. It can help other people with depression and cognitive problems.

There are multiple types of steroids, hormones and substances that your body makes. So, how do we know which to replace after life has toyed with your body? Answer: We do not know. We have to investigate. There are a lot of holistic doctors that have emerged to deal with estrogen dominance. You can also get a referral to an endocrinologist to test your hormones.

You may never be able to increase these hormones in the right ways, but you can attempt it and come as close to you can. I have and it has helped me tons!

First, please read about Melatonin. Most people do not get enough. It is incredibly beneficial for your skin and your brain. You can also read this article I have written on estrogen dominance:
http://amewagoner.blogspot.com/2015/04/promood.html 

If you have been on pills or IUDs for most of your life, you are probably low on something. The MAIN effect of having no progesterone is a foggy brain. However, you could also other problems.  You don't remember why you walked into the kitchen?  Mine was so bad that I literally couldn't remember something that happened 5 minutes ago. I functioned or appeared to function normally because I was smart enough to systematize my life. 

I would talk to myself mentally every time I did something. I would make lists everywhere. I was extremely paranoid of forgetting things. "Milk, must get milk. Milk in the bottle. Oh, babies are dirty. First diapers. Diapers and milk, diapers and milk, diapers and milk. Diapers and then milk. " I would do this mentally while the babies were crying, but I would say, "It's ok babies, just need diapers and milk." There is no way I could talk to another person if I had something to do. My significant other at the time probably thought I was crazy and ignoring him, but I honestly could not focus on his words because I was too busy saying, "diapers and milk" over and over again in my head. I lived this way for a VERY long time. I imagine that some of the functional ability I have now is from these habits that I have trained myself into. I still constantly make lists and constantly repeat things to myself on a regular basis. I went to the store yesterday and bought some things. I did NOT buy the one thing I was supposed to buy, which was a 9 volt battery. So, It is now normal for me to function this way and if I do not make a list I can not be at full efficiency. Another reason I seemed so "normal" was that I could remember a lot of old information. I could tell you that brown eyes are dominant and that blue eyes are recessive. I could even draw you a chart for Recessive/Dominant, based on the Genetics 101 class I took in 1995, but I could not remember my own cousin's name for over 5 minutes. To clarify, if I stopped saying "diapers and milk" in my head and then walked into the nursery, there was about a 75% chance that I would completely forget why I went in there.

So, in "fog brain" only your short-term memory is affected. Fog brain can also fog up things like names, words or processes. Some smells may repulse you. I couldn't stand the smell of any type of seafood. Ick! You may drop things, be klutzy . . . basically anything that you have seen happen to a pregnant woman, are symptoms that you may have. 

Let me tell you why. Estrogen levels have to be higher than progesterone, but not by too much. If they are not then the body suffers horribly from all kinds of weird symptoms. Pregnant women fluctuate between overproduction of estrogen and overproduction of progesterone. That is normal for them because they need to do that in order to make the changes in their body in order to make babies. For example the spine actually straightens! Weird. 

To get your life back you can do several things. First off, talk to your doctor about how much production of what hormones you think you produce. Use this to measure them: 

http://www.johnleemd.com/store/resource_hormonetest.html

I suggest you look more at the symptoms than at any actual test measuring hormones. Everyone's body works differently, and what your symptoms are reflects your needs. For me, I still under produce progesterone AND estrogen . . and if I don't take my progesterone religiously, I will get an estrogen migraine. If I take no pills my estrogen and progesterone fall, and then I am fog brained again (which I hate more than the migraines). My doctor helped me by putting me on a single-phasic pill that is high in progesterone, but still has some estrogen. In order for me to function I need to have a good source of estrogen and progesterone.

What was happening with a triple phasic pill was that by the time I got to pill set #2 my estrogen and progesterone had adjusted to pill set (week #1).  This was making it impossible for my body to be normal but it was also making it impossible for me to diagnose my symptoms, since they were all over the place. With this pill I have the same dose every day for three weeks. It helps my body to regulate itself for me. As I write this I correct numerous typos, spelling errors and grammar. I'm still not normal. I don't believe I ever will be until I decide to get a full hormone replacement therapy, maybe in fifteen years or so. We'll see.

You can also have estrogen dominance or overproduction in different amounts, but most pill-users are under producing. Talk to your NP or Dr. about balancing with different types of pills, like a pill that only contains progesterone and no estrogen. If you have questions feel free to ask me. I just hope I shed some light on this subject.

For more information just click on this image below. It will lead you to another blog for a holistic medical nurse. Thank you for reading.